I want to start this off by outlining a few of my ideals and viewpoints on the world and our existence.
I am, well, unsure how to exactly word things, so if you get lost along the way just keep reading and how that it all turns out okay in the end.
But, isn't that what we learn to do with life, or, at least, try to learn to do with life?
At a young age we are taught that life is a precious thing because you "only live once!", but I disagree.
Energy cannot be destroyed and we are all made up of energy, we require energy to function, all things do.
So, what happens to that energy when we die? It transfers.

I believe that when we die, we either go into the Earth to help with plant growth, or reincarnate into new life.
When I die, I will be reincarnated into a cat. I await this day.
To know the joys of being ignornant to everything outside of my natural instincts... bliss.
I hate knowing that in the future I will work my life away. I will never be truly happy and no one is.
Money does buy happiness.
You think you are happy? Think again. Think hard. It will not last forever.

When I think about killing myself, I fear I will face regret. But, if I am in a better life, what is there to regret?
I am just a zombie, living day-to-day off of impluses with no real meaning to it. Nothing matters here.
But... knowing this, I still care. I hate that I care. I know everyone else is not real. But, I care.
Why? Why must I care? Do these people really exist or not? I will never know, because they are programmed to tell me so.
My end goal to end the cycle of rebirth and dying. I want that neverending darkness. Only then will I find peace.

I feel as if I'm at the end of my rope. I am falling back into the lifeless routine that I had once before.
It brings me great comfort, but also great melancholy.
In the end, we are all the same. Flesh, blood, hopes, and dreams.
We are all the same and all different, each in our own unique ways.
I'm sorry for what I did to you. How I treated you. We both weren't good for each other.
I hope one day we meet again, not in this life, but another. We both deserved better.

I am a hypocrite.

Tuesday, December 10th. 10:10Am.

Deny, Depose, Defend.
It was an inside job. Things do not match up.
Don't let yourself be next.
Don't let the government use you for their ploys.

REK 2024 - Infinity